[Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

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Should be Kanzaki H. Aria on Anime Battle Characters?

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[Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 7/11/2011, 1:33 am

Kanzaki H. Aria the Scarlet Ammo

Images:

M1911 Pistols

Spoiler:

Kodachi

Spoiler:

Kanzaki Aria

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Background Story:
Kanzaki H. Aria, a.k.a. Sherlock Holmes the 4th, is a female transfer student at Butei High School. In which she is an "Assault" department elite rank S (The highest rank) Butei. She can dual-wield either firearms or swords, earning her the title "Quadra". Her firearm of choice is the M1911 pistol, a.k.a Colt Government,[color=white] while the Japanese "Kodachi" swords are her favorite melee weapon. Her main goal is to defeat the IU and exonerate her mother.

Stats
Max Health
==========
Attack Speed
==========
Base Damage
==========
Defense
==========
Move Speed
==========

Attack Range: 600 (Ranged Form) / 128 (Melee Form)

Stats growth
Max Health
=
Attack Speed
==
Base Damage
==

Extra Information:
Movement Speed: 325 MS.
Attack Animation: Ranged Form -> 0.3 / 0.3, Melee Form -> 0.3 / 0.3.
Casting animation: Ranged Form -> 0,3 / 0,3, Melee Form -> 0.3 / 0.3.
Base Attack Time: Ranged Form -> 1,5. Melee Form -> 1,35.
Missile speed: 1000~1500 MS.

Default Skill: Weapon Swap [Active][Damage Type: None]
As Aria is a S rank in Butei with the title of Quadra, she can either duel-wield the M1191 pistols or the Japanese Kodachi swords at a single time, giving her the tactical advantage by being able to switch weapons depending on the circumstances.
---------------------------------------
Ranged Mode Dual M1191: Increases base damage by 5 and her attack range to 600.
Melee Mode Dual Kodachi: Increases attack speed by 15% and movement speed by 25.
Casting Time: Instant.
Cooldown: 5 Secs.

1st Skill Ranged Form: Explosion Shot [Active][Damage Type: Physical]
Aria takes 0.2 seconds to deploy explosives on the ground, then jumps backwards and shoots at the explosives in midair, causing an immediate explosion, dealing damage in the target area, all this happening within another 0.6 seconds.
---------------------------------------
Aria backflips in the air and shoots 2 bullets 45 degrees downwards in front of her.
Becomes invulnerable while jumping.
Jumps 450 Range backwards.
AoE 350.
---------------------------------------
Lvl 1: Explosion deals 400 DMG.
Lvl 2: Explosion deals 600 DMG.
Lvl 3: Explosion deals 800 DMG.
Lvl 4: Explosion deals 1000 DMG.
Lvl 5: Explosion deals 1200 DMG.

Cooldown: 15 seconds.

Detailed Information:


1st Skill Melee Form: Multiform Slash [Active][Damage Type: Physical]
Wielding both Kodachi, Aria becomes unimaginably agile, not only in terms of movement but in the speed of her strikes as well. Aria is able to perform a double slash in front of her, with such speed, that it's comparable to the speed of sound itself and enemies will barely notice who or what just hit them.
---------------------------------------
Deals 2 consecutive slashes.
First slash deals 100% cleave in 300 AoE.
Second slash hits straight line. Range 256. AoE 120.
Cannot be cancelled.
---------------------------------------
Lvl 1: Second slash deals 250 DMG.
Lvl 2: Second slash deals 500 DMG.
Lvl 3: Second slash deals 750 DMG.
Lvl 4: Second slash deals 1000 DMG.
Lvl 5: Second slash deals 1250 DMG.

Cooldown: 15 seconds.

Detailed Information:
Each slash takes 0,25 seconds.

2nd Skill Ranged Form: Concentration [Active][Damage Type: None]
After years of training, Aria has become a remarkably skilled marksman. However when she focuses to concentrate, she is able to increase her rate of fire tremendously. As a result of which, no opponent can hope to best Aria when she is concentrating.
---------------------------------------
Decreases BAT.
Lasts 10 seconds.
---------------------------------------
Lvl 1: Decreases BAT by 0,1.
Lvl 2: Decreases BAT by 0,15.
Lvl 3: Decreases BAT by 0,2.
Lvl 4: Decreases BAT by 0,25.
Lvl 5: Decreases BAT by 0,3.

Cooldown: 25 seconds.

Detailed Information:
Cannot be dispelled.
This skill effect is removed if Aria uses Weapon Swap.

2nd Skill Melee Form: Self-Confidence [Active][Damage Type: None]
As a Butei S rank member, Aria has been trained to succeed in everything. It was taught that when one is faced with an unfair amount of opponents, you have to become stronger then them all together. In order to apply this, Aria goes beyond her limits when fighting, to achieve the victory and to show them all that failure is not an option.
---------------------------------------
Places a self buff. Lasts 10 Seconds.
Increases AS per non-allied hero unit within 550 AoE of Aria.
---------------------------------------
Lvl 1: Grants [50/(Enemy Team Heroes)*Unit] % AS.
Lvl 2: Grants [75/(Enemy Team Heroes)*Unit] % AS.
Lvl 3: Grants [100/(Enemy Team Heroes)*Unit] % AS.
Lvl 4: Grants [125/(Enemy Team Heroes)*Unit] % AS.
Lvl 5: Grants [150/(Enemy Team Heroes)*Unit] % AS.


Cooldown: 25 seconds.

Detailed Information:
Cannot be dispelled.
This skill effect is removed if Aria uses Weapon Swap.
E.G. Lvl 5: 150% AS / 5 Enemy Heroes * 3 Near Aria = (150/5)*3 = 30*3 = 90% AS.


3rd Skill Ranged Form: Tactical Shot [Passive][Damage Type: None]
When Aria entered Butei, she was recruited into Elite Assault Department. After the years of endless aiming training, her accuracy with a gun surpassed everyone's imagination, enabling her to hit her targets' weakspots with great ease, paralyzing them for a moment.
---------------------------------------
Gives Aria a chance to disable non-allied unit on every attack, preventing it from moving for a brief period of time.
Can only be triggered by physical attacks.
---------------------------------------
Lvl 1: 10% to disable for 0,3 seconds.
Lvl 2: 12% to disable for 0,35 seconds.
Lvl 3: 14% to disable for 0,4 seconds.
Lvl 4: 16% to disable for 0,45 seconds.
Lvl 5: 18% to disable for 0,5 seconds.

Detailed Information:
If triggers twice, the debuff is renewed.

3rd Skill Melee Form: Disarm [Passive][Damage Type: None]
Aria usually uses her M1911 pistols to fight, she does occasionally use her twin Kodachis, which gave her the Quadra title. One of the many techniques that she has mastered, is one that disables a target, rendering it unable to fight back for awhile.
---------------------------------------
Gives Aria a chance to disable non-allied unit on every attack, preventing it from attacking for a short period of time.
Can only be triggered by physical attacks.
---------------------------------------
Lvl 1: 8% to disable for 1,3 seconds.
Lvl 2: 9% to disable for 1,6 seconds.
Lvl 3: 10% to disable for 1,9 seconds.
Lvl 4: 11% to disable for 2,2 seconds.
Lvl 5: 12% to disable for 2,5 seconds.

Detailed Information:
If triggers twice, the debuff is renewed.

Ultimate Ranged Form: Hidan Bullet [Active][Damage Type: Uknown]
In dire situations, Aria is able to harness the power of the scarlet bullet to her advantage. Using herself as a conduit, the energy from the bullet channels through her and is projected out of her gun.
---------------------------------------
Deals DMG in a line. Direct HP Removal.
Cast Range 700.
Collision Size 250.
DMG is reduced by 10% each unit it goes through.
Casting Time 1 second.
Missile Speed 1500~2000 MS.
---------------------------------------
Lvl 1: Deals 2000 DMG. Range 1200.
Lvl 2: Deals 4000 DMG. Range 1500.
Lvl 3: Deals 6000 DMG. Range 1800.

Cooldown: 100/90/80 seconds.

Detailed Information:
DMG E.G. Lvl 5: 6000 -> 5400 -> 4860 -> 4374 ....


Ultimate Melee Form: Lethal Stealth [Active][Damage Type: Physical]
A red mist briefly surrounds Aria, hiding her presence from enemies, while allowing her to move at speeds rivaling the speed of light. Once Aria breaks invisibility to attack an enemy, she will no longer be hidden but her target will be stunned by the suddenness and ferocity of the deadly blow.
---------------------------------------
Becomes invisible for a period of time.
Grants Max MS. Cannot be slowed.
Places a debuff [Hunted] on non-allied target unit. [Hunted] unit has reduced MS and AS.
Lasts 3 seconds.
Overrides Orb Effect and Buff Placer.
---------------------------------------
Lvl 1: Deals 1250 breaking DMG. [Hunted] slows MS by 20% and AS by 30%. Invisibility lasts 10 seconds.
Lvl 2: Deals 2500 breaking DMG. [Hunted] slows MS by 30% and AS by 50%. Invisibility lasts 15 seconds.
Lvl 3: Deals 3750 breaking DMG. [Hunted] slows MS by 40% and AS by 70%. Invisibility lasts 20 seconds.

Cooldown: 100/90/80 seconds.


Detailed Information:
Works with Soul Eater's splash.
Invisibility will be broken if Aria attacks, dealing extra DMG.
If Aria uses any spell or swap weapon, Invisibility will be gone aswell, but she will not deal extra DMG.
Basically like Slark's ultimate visual effect, but the mist around her will disappear 0,5 seconds after the spell is cast.

Final Notes:
Every Ranged Skill shares cooldown with her own Melee Skill, ultimate included.
Feel free to comment my suggestion, and help me to improve/balance it!
Thanks to SleepyJudgement for his help, without him this Character Suggestion wouldn't had been possible!
Thanks to OmegaSui for helping me to improve Aria's skills with his originality. PD: Sui Gtfo.
Last thing but not least, Aria is so Kawaii.


Last edited by Aria.OwNs on 11/9/2011, 5:47 pm; edited 118 times in total
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by selphiroth on 7/11/2011, 7:18 pm

LOLLL the upgrading version and the 2nd huh? (from mine I mess around with her so you decide to make her)
well a lot greater info and skill than mine you really put a lot of work in her XD
let's everyone discuss from your mine was suck XD

Let's hope from your can make HnA serie become heroes in ABC
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by SleepyJudgement on 7/12/2011, 3:23 am

Oh...u updated it..NICE!!
i'm still kinda hazy abt melee ult tho >.>
and btw

"Every Ranged Skill shares cooldown with "his" own Melee Skill, ultimate included."

lol jsut something i found xP

EDIT: u added ammo system??
well...in my opinion....i dun think ammo system on aria not really reliable...since she supposed to harass with AS....i mean it's fine on Reki but on Aria it feels kinda awkward >.>

Just my opinion thought.....u can do what u want
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by OmegaSui on 7/12/2011, 10:31 am

Aria looks at T.K's unlimited cartridges.
Aria feels sad.
T.K showed his special trick to unlimited cartridges : ↑↑↓↓→←→←BA Select Start.

/facepalm Sleepy...Aria's Aria suggestion, so cool mon.


  • Click on my ABC userbar and see if you can alter anything.

Default skill
_Weapon Swap :
  • Too bad this skill seems to be a must, i'd rather a metamorph skill to change into melee/ranged mode so it won't be the same as Shana's default.

_Reload :
  • Can she do anything else while reloading? Or does she have to stay at one place like a sitting duck for 1.5s ?
  • As the tooltips stated, she gains 12 mana on the first 0.75s ?
  • Too much unneeded information in tooltips.
  • Specific amount of bullets required of [put the name here] skills should be placed under that skill's tooltips (which is already done and idk why you are still keeping it). Too much text can kill.

1st skill
_Perfect Shot :
  • Name is used in T.K's 3rd skill.
  • Chaos is attack type, not damage type. To make it simple , just [Chaos, Uknown]
  • Specific heroes's damage negation in tooltips is not needed. If you want it to be un-negate-able, make it direct HP removal. Either way, i don't like a perfect shot to be actually perfect.
  • The line's AoE ?

_Double Slash:
  • That's not tooltips, but more like a detailed animation request.
  •                                                             Space works for me?
  • Total DoT is not needed. The duration for the debuff should be placed under the tooltips.
  • Don't know about you but i'd prefer minor debuff but stacks with itself.


2nd skill
_Scarlet Rain :
  • That's maximum damage, not total, since total damage can be vary
  • Unneeded information.
  • ?% of her raw damage? With or without the item/stat's bonus damage?
  • CD should be constant.

_Assault Maneuver :
  • Trolling is not an official term/word to be used in ABC. It's merely a slang.
  • Again : That's not tooltips, but more like a detailed animation request.
  • Immobilized -> Entangled. Done. Screw the blinks.
  • Too much pros for Aria . Oh btw just put a magic/spell immune buff on her. Prob solved.

3rd skill
_Tactical Shot:
  • ...never knew there were something called tactical shot.
  • Are you referring to Weaver's 3rd skill ?




_Skill name :






Ultimate
_Skill name :







gtg. will finish this later

__________________________________________________________________________Signature


Spoiler:

Sleep within these hands, gently watching over you
I remember you, laughing, crying, getting angry
I'll never forget, ever, until my life is exhausted
You were right there with me
Always always always you were smiling there beside me
Even if I lose you, I'll get you back. I will never leave you.


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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 7/12/2011, 1:23 pm

Default skill
_Weapon Swap :

  • Too bad
    this skill seems to be a must, i'd rather a metamorph skill to change
    into melee/ranged mode so it won't be the same as Shana's default.

Well in the anime she doesn't transform so NO.

_Reload :

  • Can she do anything else while reloading? Or does she have to stay at one place like a sitting duck for 1.5s ?
  • As the tooltips stated, she gains 12 mana on the first 0.75s ?
  • Too much unneeded information in tooltips.
  • Specific
    amount of bullets required of [put the name here] skills should be
    placed under that skill's tooltips (which is already done and idk why
    you are still keeping it). Too much text can kill.

-Reload casting time changed from 1,5s to 1s, and yes, she has to channel reload.
-12 Mana every 0,5 seconds up to 1 second.
-Information is not unneeded since without it Deckai will mess it 105% chance.
-Fixed.

1st skill
_Perfect Shot :

  • Name is used in T.K's 3rd skill.
  • Chaos is attack type, not damage type. To make it simple , just [Chaos, Uknown]
  • Specific
    heroes's damage negation in tooltips is not needed. If you want it to
    be un-negate-able, make it direct HP removal. Either way, i don't like a
    perfect shot to be actually perfect.
  • The line's AoE ?

-Gonna change it.
-I wrote [Chaos, Uknown]
-Ok
-No idea about AoE lol, 150~200 radius?

_Double Slash:

  • That's not tooltips, but more like a detailed animation request.
  • Space works for me?
  • Total DoT is not needed. The duration for the debuff should be placed under the tooltips.
  • Don't know about you but i'd prefer minor debuff but stacks with itself.

-Well everybody who uses Aria MUST know how she/her skills work.
-They don't for me.
-If total DoT added it will help players, and DECKAI to understand it.
-What do you mean with this? <.<

2nd skill
_Scarlet Rain :

  • That's maximum damage, not total, since total damage can be vary
  • Unneeded information.
  • ?% of her raw damage? With or without the item/stat's bonus damage?
  • CD should be constant.

-As stated, 1 bullet = 8/10/12/14/16% Physical Damage.
-Gonna check it.
-Items included.
-Gonna fix it.

_Assault Maneuver :

  • Trolling is not an official term/word to be used in ABC. It's merely a slang.
  • Again : That's not tooltips, but more like a detailed animation request.
  • Immobilized -> Entangled. Done. Screw the blinks.
  • Too much pros for Aria . Oh btw just put a magic/spell immune buff on her. Prob solved.

-Gonna chance it.
-WTF is wrong with detailed description lol, information is NEEDED, not only DMG range and AoE (ehm wait, most skills don't have AoE and Range on description o.O), how skill works or how it WON'T work is needed also.
-I don't think when you slash an enemy with a katana he gets ''entangled'', but inmobilized due to the wounds.
-Sure.


3rd skill
_Tactical Shot:

  • ...never knew there were something called tactical shot.
  • Are you referring to Weaver's 3rd skill ?


-....
-Yes something like Weaver's passive, but it WON'T, I will say it again, WON'T be an orb effect, which means Nova, Gae Bolg and Hollow Mask will (or I hope, don't mess it DECKAI) work with 1st and 2nd Shot.
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by OmegaSui on 7/13/2011, 11:42 am

So i heard u liek to quote.
    Well in the anime she doesn't transform so NO.
  • Not transform, but change her from ranged -> melee or vice versa, just the same as the weapon swap but with duration ----> Haruhi doesn't transform nor create a Closed Dimension by herself. Be flexible. Papillion Heart was never an ability to be used, but it's cool right?
    -Information is not unneeded since without it Deckai will mess it 105% chance.
  • Detailed information and tooltips must be seperated, and noted. WALL OF TEXT FFFFFFF--
    -I wrote [Chaos, Uknown]
  • You wrote : Damage type : Chaos, Uknown
    -Well everybody who uses Aria MUST know how she/her skills work.
  • And i thought Shiki's 2nd skill was target-point. They just need 1 try to know wtf is going on, too much texts won't help (...hello, Avenger's ulti). And that's a detailed animation request, which should not be involved with the tooltips.
    -If total DoT added it will help players, and DECKAI to understand it.
  • Put it at Deckai-go-here-and-read-this-first section. Or just check out how do i do it with my Lina suggestion.
    -What do you mean with this? <.<
  • Like 2%AS reduction per 0.1s up to 70%, 1%MS reduction per 0.1s up to 35%.
    -WTF is wrong with detailed description lol, information is NEEDED, not only DMG range and AoE (ehm wait, most skills don't have AoE and Range on description o.O), how skill works or how it WON'T work is needed also.
  • Because most of the players are lazy asses with less time to think than to act. Would they choose to read that wall of text that wouldn't even fit the space for a skill's description/tooltips or they just use it with AI to test out first? Like i told u, put it at another section.
    -I don't think when you slash an enemy with a katana he gets ''entangled'', but inmobilized due to the wounds.
  • I was merely talking about a ladder skill with the same function, never said that the name must be Entangled or anything.
    -Yes something like Weaver's passive, but it WON'T, I will say it again, WON'T be an orb effect, which means Nova, Gae Bolg and Hollow Mask will (or I hope, don't mess it DECKAI) work with 1st and 2nd Shot.
  • Idk about that part of coding so i won't say anything regarding this matter anymore. B4 i shut my mouth, DotA IMBA tried to remove the orb effect part, but the orb effect and buff placer can only work on the original attack. The newest versions created a mirror of weaver on the other side and attacks at 400% IAS, same items, lasts for X attacks, so the shitty proc things worked. IDK how can the skill work on Aria, she can't call herself from the future to aid her.

1st skill
_Ultimate Shot:
  • The term is Dual Shot i believe?
  • Just AoE.
  • Direct HP removal is a way of damaging, thus, replace Uknown with it.

_Double Slash :
  • The looooong part which does not belong to the tooltips -> Aria moves forth and back, performing a double streak attack on the targeted unit. (RAW.TOOLTIPS.DON'T.COMPLAIN)
  • I faked it, it's not space. It's Alt + 255. U know Triforce right?

2nd skill
_Scarlet Rain :
  • Invul will remove most(if not all) buffs placed on the unit, even if it's a debuff/buff.

_Assault Maneuver :
  • I'd like to change the lolololololong tooltips -> mid aerial cross slash or something but some dumbfucks may understand it the wrong way (FU FF7)

3rd skill
_Tactical Shot:
  • It's damage type, not attack type.
  • Discussion regarding the matter is taken place at the top of the post.

_Red Mist :
  • The critical part is the Blizzard's mechanic, no need to show it.
  • Does she gain the effect from this passive when she's on ranged mode? Same question for the passive above.
  • She'll have 1-(1- item's evasion)*(1-skill's effect) % to evade (on normal condition). Just saying.

Ultimate
_Hidan Bullet :
  • Guns and bullets unless modified, are the same. Pros make it lethal by hitting lethal spots. This is a physical matter, not magical. A normal bullet comes from a M1911 pistol can barely pierce through a human body or two. Not like i'm against the idea or anything, but the description is too mythical.
  • The bullet's MS is? I suggest making it slower each time it hits.
  • AoE ?

_Scarlet Dance:
  • Damge type -> Mixed. BTW , it's magical damage, not spell.
  • Holy wall of text. Thank god i had my coke.
  • Move the *** amount of hits to the chance of performing the skill. Like 30% chance on the next physical attacks within 10s will occur First Dance, dealing 6 hits.
  • Effect tooltips is tooooooo long. If you followed my advice above -> [FD] deals *** damage/hit, [SD] deals *** damage/hit, [TD] deals *** damage/hit. Final Blow deals **% of target's max HP.
  • Debuff lasts for ? Combine two last line -> Affected unit will be placed with a debuff that amplifies damage from Scarlet Dance by 20%.

__________________________________________________________________________Signature


Spoiler:

Sleep within these hands, gently watching over you
I remember you, laughing, crying, getting angry
I'll never forget, ever, until my life is exhausted
You were right there with me
Always always always you were smiling there beside me
Even if I lose you, I'll get you back. I will never leave you.


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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 7/13/2011, 5:16 pm

Updated.
Read first post for more information.
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by SleepyJudgement on 7/14/2011, 12:01 am

lololol for the trolling i told u to use "DISTRACTING" XDXDXD
and i'm still not liking the ammo system on aria >.>
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 7/14/2011, 12:21 am

Have you seen any pistol/gun (bullet based ofc, not laser, wind or such sh*ts) with infinite ammo?.

I'm trying to do Aria as real as in the Anime.
In the anime she uses bullets.
Here she will do so.
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by OmegaSui on 7/14/2011, 8:25 am

Aria looks at T.K's unlimited cartridges.
Aria feels sad.
T.K showed his special trick to unlimited cartridges : ↑↑↓↓→←→←BA Select Start.
The reason...

Go to a random bullet spamming game. Pistols are loaded with inf bullets there.

__________________________________________________________________________Signature


Spoiler:

Sleep within these hands, gently watching over you
I remember you, laughing, crying, getting angry
I'll never forget, ever, until my life is exhausted
You were right there with me
Always always always you were smiling there beside me
Even if I lose you, I'll get you back. I will never leave you.


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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by pkw.Felix on 7/15/2011, 12:26 pm

Well, I'm okay with the ammo system. Since it makes the game even more .....unique. I think i'll make this model soon after my animating works. good luck getting this approved.

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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 7/15/2011, 1:19 pm

Thanks Pkw for your support.
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 7/24/2011, 12:26 am

Bump Bump Bump
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 7/26/2011, 1:08 am

Updated, some descriptions improved.
Check first post for more information.
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 8/2/2011, 2:26 pm

Bump Bump Bump
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by OmegaSui on 8/5/2011, 5:11 pm

zzz more of those bump and imma.......join the spamming industry...

__________________________________________________________________________Signature


Spoiler:

Sleep within these hands, gently watching over you
I remember you, laughing, crying, getting angry
I'll never forget, ever, until my life is exhausted
You were right there with me
Always always always you were smiling there beside me
Even if I lose you, I'll get you back. I will never leave you.


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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 8/5/2011, 5:12 pm

Updated. Skills remade. Check first post for more information.
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Nuuby on 8/6/2011, 10:54 pm

Right, so here's some editing suggestions to improve engrish standards of erm, stuff. Perhaps. Maybe.

I'll try to show changes with a red text color whenever possible, which is basically all the time except when I completely screw up change the description.


Background Story:
Kanzaki H. Aria, a.k.a.
Sherlock Holmes the 4th, is a female transfer student at Butei High
School. In which she is an "Assault" department elite rank S (The highest rank) Butei. She can dual-wield either firearms or swords, earning her the title "Quadra".
Her firearm of choice is the M1911 pistol, a.k.a Colt Government, while the Japanese "Kodachi" swords are her favorite melee weapon. Her
main goal is to defeat the IU and exonerate her mother.

Default Skill: Weapon Swap [Active][Damage Type: None]
As Aria is a S rank in Butei with the title of Quadra, she can either duel-wield the M1191 pistols or the Japanese Kodachi swords at a single time, giving her the tactical advantage by being able to switch weapons depending on the circumstances.

1st Skill Ranged Form: Aria's Burst/Aria's Explosion/Explosion Shot [Active][Damage Type: Physical]
Aria
takes 0.2 seconds to deploy explosives on the ground, then jumps backwards and shoots at the explosives in midair,
causing an immediate explosion, dealing damage in
the target area,
all this happening within another 0.6 seconds

1st Skill Melee Form: Multiform Slash [Active][Damage Type: Physical]
Wielding
both Kodachi, Aria becomes unimaginably agile, not only in terms of
movement but in the speed of her strikes as well. Aria is able to
perform a double slash in front of her, with such speed, that it's
comparable to the speed of sound itself and enemies will barely notice
who or what just hit them.

THIS SKILL HAS BEEN RE-DESCRIBED

2nd Skill Ranged Form: Concentration [Active][Damage Type: None]
After years of training, Aria has become a remarkably skilled marksman. However when she focuses to concentrate, she is able to increase her rate of fire tremendously. As a result of which, no opponent can hope to best Aria when she is concentrating.

2nd Skill Melee Form: Self-Confidence [Active][Damage Type: None]
As
a Butei S rank member, Aria has been trained to succeed in everything. It was taught that when one is faced with an unfair amount of opponents, you have to become stronger then them all together. In order to apply this, Aria goes
beyond her limits when fighting, to achieve the victory and to show them
all that failure is not an option.

3rd Skill Ranged Form: Tactical Shot [Passive][Damage Type: None]
When
Aria entered Butei, she was recruited into Elite Assault
Department. After the years of endless aiming training, her accuracy with a gun surpassed everyone's imagination, enabling her to hit her targets' weakspots with great ease, paralyzing them for a moment.

3rd Skill Melee Form: Disarm [Passive][Damage Type: None]
Aria usually uses her M1911 pistols to fight, she does occasionally use her twin Kodachis, which gave her the Quadra title. One of the many techniques that she has mastered, is one that disables a target, rendering it unable to fight back for awhile.

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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 8/6/2011, 11:05 pm

WTF is this, you reviewed 7 skills, what about the ultimates? Oh god.
FFFF Nooooby.
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Nuuby on 8/7/2011, 12:06 am

Ultimate Ranged Form: The Scarlet Bullet [Active][Damage Type: Chaos, Uknown]
In dire situations, Aria is able to harness the power of the scarlet bullet to her advantage. Using herself as a conduit, the energy from the bullet channels through her and is projected out of her gun.

Ultimate Melee Form: Lethal Stealth [Active][Damage Type: Physical]
A red mist briefly surrounds Aria, hiding her presence from enemies, while allowing her to move at speeds rivaling the speed of light. Once Aria breaks invisibility to attack an enemy, she will no longer be hidden but her target will be stunned by the suddenness and ferocity of the deadly blow.

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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 8/7/2011, 12:52 am

Good job, here is your prize.

Spoiler:
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by jib123 on 8/7/2011, 8:46 am

Woah. That suggestion is so cool. Every skill is different depending on your weapon.

I'm not good at giving reviews so I won't give one but very nice work though overall Grin Grin

And what is BAT? Sorry for being slow minded
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by Aria.OwNs on 8/7/2011, 1:30 pm

Base Attack Time.
1 BAT means 1 hit/second.
The lower BAT is, the more AS you will have late game.
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by iincyo on 8/7/2011, 9:40 pm

wahh.
about 1st default skill.
we are in both ideas
my char's default skill is the same to you

a default that can be a range or melee

what coicncidental...

btw i will post it sooner....
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

Post by iincyo on 8/7/2011, 9:41 pm

looks im wrong
you place in 1st skill while me in 1st default

LOL
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Re: [Hidan No Aria] Kanzaki H. Aria

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